Collars

A collar holds deep symbolic meaning in BDSM. It represents the bond between dominant and submissive and progresses through several stages:

• Collar of Consideration — the first stage. The dominant offers this when both parties are considering entering a D/s dynamic. Comparable to an exploratory phase
• Training Collar — the second stage. The submissive wears this while learning boundaries, preferences, and protocols. A phase of building and deepening the relationship
• Permanent Collar — the third and most serious stage. Comparable to a wedding ring — it symbolises a long-term, profound commitment

Offering and accepting a collar always happens on the basis of mutual consent. It is a personal choice with a meaning that varies between couples.

A proper fit is essential for comfort and safety. Follow the two-finger rule:

1. 1Measure your neck circumference with a tape measure, just below the Adam's apple
2. 2Add 2-3 cm — you should always be able to slide two fingers between the collar and your neck
3. 3Verify that the collar does not pinch or press on the windpipe anywhere

Adjustable collars with multiple holes offer the most flexibility. When in doubt, always choose the larger size — too tight is unsafe.

The neck is a vulnerable body part containing vital blood vessels and the windpipe. Safety is therefore non-negotiable:

• Never pull or yank a collar — sudden force on the neck can injure the spine, windpipe, or blood vessels
• Never use a collar as an anchor point for bondage that involves pulling forces. Use a body harness or chest restraint instead
• Choose a collar with a quick-release mechanism or breakaway point so it can be removed immediately in an emergency
• Never leave someone alone while their collar is attached to other restraints
• Check regularly for red marks, numbness, or breathing difficulties

A safe word or non-verbal stop signal is mandatory. When in doubt: remove the collar.

Day collars and play collars serve different purposes:

Day collar

A day collar is a subtle piece of jewellery that you can wear in everyday life without it being recognised as a BDSM accessory. Think of a delicate chain with a small padlock pendant, a sleek choker, or a bracelet. It symbolises the D/s bond for the wearer but looks like ordinary jewellery to others.

Play collar

A play collar is designed for use during BDSM sessions. It is usually wider, sturdier, and made from materials such as leather, faux leather, or metal. Play collars often feature D-rings for attaching a leash or light accessories.

Important: even with a play collar, never pull or yank it. The D-ring is intended for gentle guidance, not force.